Dear Blank, Please Blank

Hand selected for your pleasure...

Dear Titanic,

OM NOM NOM.

Sincerely, Iceberg
_______________

Dear (360) 553-0049,

This should teach you to prank call me at 3am.

Sincerely, have fun with that
_______________

Dear Amish,

You shouldn't be reading this.

Sincerely, Anonymous
_______________

Dear Internet,

Please stop with the talking ads that start on their own.

Sincerely, I just had a heart attack
_______________

Dear Kids,

There is no Santa. Those presents are from your parents.

Sincerely, Wikileaks
_______________

Dear Asian people,

Can you at least wear name tags or something?

Sincerely, the rest of the world